.....................................

All I can remember now is his voice.His whispers to my ears are snakes on quilt..
I have become his part and not a part of mine is now left for me.I wish I could see him again as my restless eyes want some peace. I want his presence to touch my soul, to dig my heart, to freeze my breaths.The blowing breeze faints me down, takes away my sensibilities,tortures me and kills my imagination.

I am tired of faking my realities..so helpless...so ........

Chand ki katori par...

Chand ki katori par raakh sooni sooni hai
Geeli geeli ojhal si raat kahi rooth gayi..
Chup ke baithe hai wo roshandan se door
Ek tuk dekh ke chehra fer lete hai..

savera aa nahi pata unki aankho ke dayere me
ki thodi si roshni hi har taraf ghar kar gayi hai
Dhundla mausam pyara lagta hai, andhera rangeen lagta hai
uska mijaaz hi kuch waise banjara lagta hai..

Faking thoughts.............

Jumbling thoughts scrolled over my mushy quilt.. as if I would not sleep , my breathings taking my senses from me..all my efforts were to survive that night..

I tried to escape the miserable feeling..faking to cry..faking to puke and faking to be real gain.. but the fake people around me didn't realize the utmost faking thing about me. They laughed at my reality.They hunted for my crooked heart, willing to preserve it for ever. I applied all the survival strategies,they didn't know I was trying to cheat with their intelligence. I treated them as mannequins, they treated me as an illusionary impostor..at least they existed for me but I was never there for them..Possibly they are my illusions..and I was a part of their illusion as well..That vicious circle never crossed the threshold of my delusions..and I still want to escape that night of my misery..kill those thoughts to let them die forever..and beat them all to rest in peace for ever..

Parchaiyo ko kehte suna tha.....

Parchaiyo ko kehte suna tha
Libas khali hain,chalo pehen le saare
Ek jaise hain sab pehchaan khatam ho jayegi
Phir raat ke kale andhero se bhaag payenge

Surago main ab bhi thodi jagah bachi hain
Chup ke thoda sa so jayenge
Milo ki thakane hain, ab sadiyon tak na jaa payenge

katra ke dekha

Raag kathak nache bhaang me..
Ghuli hain raat zabaan mein

pheeka pheeka swaad hain , khushboo katil sawaar hain
jhoot ki woh talash thi , ghoot ghoot beswaad thi..

khatta shalgam katra ke dekha , gumsum se fafoond ko.
rasdhar si behi phir roz roz aankhon tale..

behti gayi khushiya ya khamoshi ,
jhingoor bole majhdaar se.

Gum hona main bhool gayi...

fiza si ruhani thi wo kaanch ki baalkani...
saaya mera bhi khoya khoya sa bathake hi jaa raha tha..
roz-e-ewal sa ghoom raha tha..parchaiyo ki talaash mein

chand khamoshiyan tod laya wo aakhon se..
kehna chah raha tha kuch
bus gale laga liya
ankaha suna diya
aur chal diya sara fitoor uthaye..

dekhti hi reh gayi..samajh meri main kha gayi..
chalti hi reh gayi..gum hona bhool hayi..

The Unthinkable

Today I called him finally,and told him to meet..he sounded like an ocean of current every time I talk to him..ahhh...!!eargasm.....He praises everything on earth except me,well that is actually enticing ...kewl.!!sometimes I find him averagely rude..thrilling ,isn't??+++point
Not a very surprise element,but surprisingly not predictable..sadist for love and hatred..mirror cracking material,camphor unburnt,his sarcasm creates cold wars and the sufferer actually enjoys it..whatever..
he was busy ,he denied to come..now I regret ..why did I call him..me:such a moron..such a non self respecting person..I should go to hell..
oh! I could have called the plumber to fix my loose taps or an electrician to rejoin the wires that came out of my mind,instead of calling him....now the left overs of my dignity tells me to keep on digging the wall,but I am sure he is not the Anarkali..